Uni is back in swing, which begs an important question. Do you remember your first week of university? You thought it was going to be like Oxford didn’t you. Or maybe you were expecting something along the lines of Animal House. Either way, if you went to uni in Australia, we’re pretty willing to bet you were disappointed. Where was the philosophical debate? Where were the panty raids? Where was the pranking, scamming, and kidnapping of the rival school’s mascot? It just didn’t happen.

The reality of university is quite a bit duller. You’re broke. The parties are boring. People are stupid, and all your more attractive class-mates never come to tutorials. Then there’s the group projects, Che Gueverra t-shirts and creepy mature age students. What are you supposed to be learning? How to be boring, annoying and sleazy?

You might say that all of this doesn’t matter, that university is about getting an education. I shall reply to that by quoting a guy who was in my Research Methods 3 tutorial who, when asked to submit his study on the effect of the economy on job ads said this: “I’m here to come of age, not read The Age.” Sadly, this genius had to retake the subject.

Hype Rating 2/5